Thats right. He is a moron of the highest caliber. However, people actually bought tickets. His biggest issue was he chose to launch his brand of crap in a city that will kick your ass if you do not come through. He did not come through. Big surprise.
Now he is crapping on Detroit as if we are the problem. Wrong city to make up crap as you go along. We here in the D do not care for "maybe".
Maybe I will try wearing multiple bowling shirts - the ones from One and Half Men (WOW!)
Maybe I will try saying Winning - over and over again (FABULOUS!)
Maybe I will try talking about the Goddesses ( yeah, thats new)
Maybe I will just sit on a chair in front of a Detroit audience and make shit up as I go (NOT WINNING!)
Maybe I am such a self involved celebrity - that these "working class" people will never know the difference (YOU ARE IN DETROIT ASSHOLE!)
"Maybe" does not work here Sheen.
Consider yourself lucky that you came from a pedigree of actors, such as your Father, Martin Sheen. If you were left to your own devices, without Hollywood as a safe guard - you would be the person you really are:
A Meth Head living in the Ozarks, bothering your neighbors because you keep blowing up your house with your Meth Lab, The Ozark tweens without teeth and pregnant with your 5th kid - all 7 of the Ozark tweens; 3 being your kin - all in garbage bags wrapped around their asses instead of diapers - that would be your life - without Hollywood.
You are just lucky.
Detroit got it right.
.
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Life During War Time - Tales from Detroit
Its true what they say - life is different here in the MotorCity. At least that's what the media tells us all. I would imagine anyone reading this has the same neighbors I do; unemployed, too many kids, one too many cars and a boat parked in the driveway waiting for a drink of water. Even the boat knows; I can't float on cement morons. Then theres the guy down the street, all 5 foot 4 of him with a big black Hummer parked in the drive. Every Saturday like clockwork, he's out there shining that monstrosity up, waxing it until dusk ; just in time perhaps for the repo man to come snatch it away in the dark of night, We all know that little guy in denial. And why does a 5 foot 4 man need a Hummer? Oh Wait...I just answered that question in my head.
3 out of 10 houses on my street are in foreclosure and the longer they sit empty, the more my neighborhood looks like a war zone. Even Pol Pot would have fled the scene over here. From the long dead grass to the unhinged side doors slapping against the side of the house, broken windows.....I half expect post apocalyptic raggedy children with makeshift machetes to come tearing out of those houses everytime I walk by.
I have neighbors directly across my house who have become so unhinged with joblessness and loss of their motorcycles, $2,000 Gas Grills and and everything else under the sun, they have taken to yelling out their windows at the mailman on a daily basis; more bills to pay today. No bank account. No money for gas. Hopelessness in the form of sour grapes.
Now here is the root of the root; these neighbors of mine couldn't afford their Hummers, 4 Story Houses, Boats and Children...long before the tanked economy. They seem so surprised by all of this. Yet, there are jobs here but they just don't want them. "Too demeaning" to be a landscaper or a store clerk - or both if you can swing 2 jobs. Most people do these days. To quote the old basic "doesn't take a brain surgeon to figure that out".
Since when did having "stuff" become our purpose in life? And worse...when did we become such wimps?
3 out of 10 houses on my street are in foreclosure and the longer they sit empty, the more my neighborhood looks like a war zone. Even Pol Pot would have fled the scene over here. From the long dead grass to the unhinged side doors slapping against the side of the house, broken windows.....I half expect post apocalyptic raggedy children with makeshift machetes to come tearing out of those houses everytime I walk by.
I have neighbors directly across my house who have become so unhinged with joblessness and loss of their motorcycles, $2,000 Gas Grills and and everything else under the sun, they have taken to yelling out their windows at the mailman on a daily basis; more bills to pay today. No bank account. No money for gas. Hopelessness in the form of sour grapes.
Now here is the root of the root; these neighbors of mine couldn't afford their Hummers, 4 Story Houses, Boats and Children...long before the tanked economy. They seem so surprised by all of this. Yet, there are jobs here but they just don't want them. "Too demeaning" to be a landscaper or a store clerk - or both if you can swing 2 jobs. Most people do these days. To quote the old basic "doesn't take a brain surgeon to figure that out".
Since when did having "stuff" become our purpose in life? And worse...when did we become such wimps?
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